Johnny Turbo
Legend made life.
Bigger than you or I, and twice as large as himself, Jonathan "Johnny Turbo" Brandstetter is legend made passion. And passion made thunder. He combines the coolness of Sonic with the fatness of Mario, though neither even compare. To extol the glory of NEC's masterpiece, the TurboGrafx CD (the "Turbo Duo"), as well as discredit the inferior CD-Game system created by rivalling company FEKA (a parody on SEGA), Johnny Turbo will arrive on the scene and take no prisoners.
A comic found by Sardius and quickly brought to the attention of the Moogle Cavern by H Hog, Johnny Turbo's overblown enthusiasm for spreading (often inaccurate) factoids regarding his system of choice was an aberration of sensical marketing. Punching FEKA goons left and right and defeating their evil with the power of George W. Bush-esque rationalizations and all the grace of a beluga whale, he warmed the community's hearts... like a train wreck.
Johnny Turbo's sidekick is the ever-passionate bespeckled Tony Ancona.
Johnny Turbo, wherever you are, the earth misses you. You even taught us what it means to be human.