Sputnik

Has spent some time as a hikikomori.
Has attacked his parents.
Spends months lurking.
Then he posts the kind of comments that have to be there but aren't remarkable enough, which has turned him into a sort of grey person.
Then he shifts to random stupidity.
Then he goes into Coca-Cola mode and posts random stupidity he actually finds funny.
Then he feels prompted to post about his country and he gets depressed.
He used to think he was very smart.
He's rather fake, but wishes people wouldn't find about this.
He's also a wapanese and is rather ashamed about this.
His biggest fear is turning into some random Piro-san.
Attempts to become a writer (lol.)
Nobody actually knows when he joined the forum, since he's always disappearing and reappearing under different nicks.
Used to be quite the n00b back then.
His English is rather poor.

Actually I just opened this because I wanted to see if people came up with any fun ways to vandalise it. I think the above is drama-ish enough and it's also true so you might even be offensive, so please attack :/

I have a form which you have to sign with a fake name in order to be accepted as an "expert" into a reality show about Internet vandals. You watch them night an day and lose sleep while eating popcorn, and then the day after you look like an interesting person on the screen, making technical and off-hand remarks. Suddenly New Order plays and you feel like dancing, so you leave the stage and everyone shouts at you, "Hey! You! What are you doing?!". "I have to go to the hospital", you say. You walk away as a very mathematically straight stream of petals falls, lol ecs dee. The crowd cheers. "This has been a great combat, Jean-Paul."